Category: Communication

Practical advice for active listening

Written by Wyvill Leanne on 24 February 2025. Posted in Communication, Team building.

There’s a problem with most “active listening” advice.

Plenty of articles claim it’s a “must do”, but hardly any offer the “how to”.

Let me change that for you.

If active listening is about being fully present and engaged when someone else is speaking, and about trying to understand the feeling, meaning and intent behind their words, how do you know if you’re doing it effectively?

What are the best active listening techniques?

Most advice will tell you to:

Show interest
Respond with non-verbal cues
Be empathetic
Don’t interrupt
Reflect
Paraphrase
Ask questions

But what does that look, feel and sound like?

Because active listening involves more than your ears. Your head, face, eyes, hands, torso, voice box and brain are needed too.

How to use your other senses as an active listener

To show interest:

Look at the person speaking, orienting your whole body towards them (not just your head).
Make eye contact if they are seeking it.
Put down your phone, turn away from your laptop, stop what you were doing before they began speaking.

Non-verbal cues to convey you’re following the story and reflecting might be:

Smiling
Nodding
Head tilting
Blinking
Frowning
Raising eyebrows
Keeping your torso open (i.e. not crossing your arms)

To convey empathy, don’t shy away from touch if the relationship and context allow it:

Gently place your hand on their shoulder, forearm or hand.
Remove it as soon as you sense or hear they want you to.
Open the file if they give you one.
Hold the object if they give you one.

The sounds of active listening are soft, slow and regular:

Murmurs, like “hmm”, “uh huh”, “oh”, and “I see”
Not drumming your fingers
Your breathing is almost inaudible yet rhythmic
Pauses are OK (don’t jump in with words to fill them)

When you paraphrase and ask questions:

Your tone is neutral
Your pace and volume are moderate
Your words are brief and to the point
You preface them with “What I’m hearing from you is…”
You stay focused on their story (don’t talk about yours)

That’s what active listening looks and sounds like to an observer.

And the person you’re listening to? They feel seen, heard, and supported.

Want to improve your active listening skills? Book a complimentary and unconditional Communication Coaching Clarity Call.

Book a Communication Coaching Clarity Call

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Tiger teams and True Colors

Written by Wyvill Leanne on 27 January 2025. Posted in Communication, Team building.

You don’t want more technical people tweaking the project.

You want more diverse-skilled people on the team. That’s what will get the job done by the deadline.

Your project team needs thinkers, doers, talkers and take-it-over-the-liners.

Risk takers and risk checkers. Big picture painters and detail drill sergeants.

And tiger teams need diversity.

Why?

If all the personalities on your team have the same skill sets, they might have the same mindsets and preferences.

The shared comfort zone spreads, thickens, stifles, smothers and eventually silences new ways of thinking.

Not a problem if the work is repetitive and non-competitive.

But a big one if growth is your goal. Or solving a complex problem fast.

Tiger teams and True Colors

A True Colors client (let’s call her Traci) introduced me to the concept of “tiger teams”.

Traci wanted to know quickly what strengths, values and expectations characterised the new department she had been appointed to lead. It had been cobbled from existing teams after a corporate restructure.

Tiger teams, according to project management trailblazer Asana, are groups of

“… experts brought together to solve a specific problem. Tiger teams disrupt how your business is typically organized by putting cross-functional specialists in the same room—so you can remove silos and approach critical problems from multiple perspectives. This type of team is small and nimble, so the group can act fast and come up with novel solutions that more traditional teams couldn’t manage.”

Aeronautical engineer Walter C. Williams coined the term 60 years ago in a paper on improving program management issues. Perhaps the most famous tiger team was the one whose efforts in the Apollo 13 mission won the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

Traci’s new department would have standing functions but also be tasked with specific short-term projects. She planned to assemble smaller tiger teams with cross-functional expertise as required, to investigate problems and prioritise solutions.

But Traci also wanted to make sure her tiger teams could do more than hunt down answers with stealth. Unlike the big cats in the wild, which can be aggressive when one intrudes on another’s territory, her tiger teams would value differences and be strategic with individual strengths.

Small teams with each tiger bringing more than technical skill to the group effort, making one helluva tiger in total!

What do tiger teams need?

Writing for Forbes, innovation futurist Robert B. Tucker suggests “human factors like trust, empathy, ability to resolve conflict, and seek and offer forgiveness” are vital to tiger teams’ success.

Tucker quotes an interview with Will Wright, a computer games entrepreneur who said, “You can have a great person who doesn’t work well on the team, and they’re a net loss. You can have somebody who is not that great but they are very good glue, and [they] could be a net gain.”

His article supports Wright’s view that “glue” team members “share information effectively, motivate and improve morale, and help out when somebody gets stuck. Be aware of not only the needed skill sets but who works well together and who does not.”

(In True Colors-code, these are the Blue personalities).

The True Colors training helped Traci identify the thinkers, doers, talkers and take-it-over-the-liners in her bigger team.

And the attributes the new department currently lacked.

Traci said these insights proved valuable not just for forming tiger teams, but for recruiting new people and planning professional development.

Want to discover who has the traits mix for your tiger teams? Book a complimentary, unconditional Tell Me More call.

Book a Tell Me More Call

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How to clean up the communication chaos

Written by Wyvill Leanne on 23 January 2025. Posted in Business writing, Communication, Team building.

Just like mystery messes left for others to clean up in the communal kitchen,

lazy communication creates chaos that others have to sort out…often with a large serve of resentment.

What if, along with your other goals for 2025, you added one about making your communication habits more hygienic?

Here are 5 ideas for where to start:

1. Respond to Unanswered Emails and Messages

Like an overflowing sink of dirty dishes, these neglected communications create a backlog, force others to pick up the slack, and can lead to missed deadlines and important information falling through the cracks. It disrupts workflow and the lack of consideration doesn’t encourage others to want to work with you.

2. Learn Splatter-Proof Writing Techniques

Just as nobody likes to clean up someone else’s microwave mess, no one wants to piece together your “all-over-the-place” message so they can understand your point. Or make urgent, apologetic phone calls to mop up your mistakes. A poorly written or formatted email, for example, is messy, unprofessional, and leaves a bad impression.

3. Complete Shared Documents, Forms and Files

Empty containers and spills left on the counter make others wonder what was there and what happened. So does forgetting to fill in key details or providing only the briefest of bullet points. This allows assumptions and suspicions to affect decisions, sometimes with undesirable consequences. Guessing wastes time and diminishes trust.

4. Cool Your Head Before You Lob a Salvo (not the tambourine-tapping kind!)

Loud, aggressive or disrespectful communication is like a food fight – it’s chaotic and leaves a huge (and sometimes expensive) mess. It can make bystanders feel endangered or uncomfortable. Yelling, interrupting, and using inflammatory language are food-fight equivalents at work. Short-term relief from pent-up frustration, often disguised as friendly crossfire, does little to slacken underlying tensions and a lot more to erode psychological safety.

5. Speak Up When Something’s Broken

If the dishwasher stopped working, you’d tell the person who knows how to get it fixed. If the coffee caddy was empty, you’d tell the person responsible for ordering more. Don’t allow communication blunders to pile up or missing information to cause headaches. Be alert to signs that something’s wrong and let the right people know before the grumbles get any louder.

Just as maintaining a clean communal kitchen requires effort and cooperation, so too does effective workplace communication.

If you’d like to avoid communication chaos, book a complimentary and unconditional Communication Coaching Clarity Call.

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Communicate confidently with people with disability

Written by Wyvill Leanne on 3 December 2024. Posted in Communication, Team building.

Communicating with people who have disabilities can feel awkward.

Have you ever noticed yourself or someone else speaking more loudly to a person in a wheelchair?

Or slowing your speech when talking to a person wearing very dark glasses?

Your intent to be helpful and mindful of disability could backfire.

And not all disabilities are visible or obvious.

December 3 spotlights the International Day of People With Disability.

Spend some time today learning how to communicate confidently with people with disability and about them.

The Australian Government Style Manual’s website has a clear information page on how to “use inclusive language that respects diversity”, such as:

☑️ Focus on the person, mentioning disability only when it’s relevant to your message or interaction.

☑️ Use person-first language when you don’t know individual or community preferences, i.e. describe the person and then the disability.

The Australian Federation of Disability Organisations offers general tips for communicating with people with disability and for different types of disability, like:

🚫 Don’t exaggerate your mouth movements when talking to a person with a hearing impairment as this will actually make it hard for them to lip-read.

🚫 Avoid saying or writing negative or pity-prompting expressions. For example, ‘people who use a wheelchair’ is preferred to ‘wheelchair bound’.

People with Disability Australia has published a guide that puts the need for inclusive and respectful language around disability in context and offers preferred alternative phrases.

For excellent tips on how to ask people with disability what their communication needs are and be open to communicating differently, the Queensland Government’s Disability Action Week webpage offers various valuable resources: www.qld.gov.au/daw.

Want to improve your communication with people of all kinds or ability? book a complimentary and unconditional Communication Coaching Clarity Call.

Tap back to Communisence for more practical tips

What’s your Christmas OOO message?

Written by Wyvill Leanne on 30 November 2024. Posted in Communication, Team building.

Out of ideas for your Christmas out-of-office (OOO) message?

I can help you.

In the rush to finish your To Do Before End of 2024 List (especially if you prefer checking out of the office and into an aisle seat earlier in December), you might forget to communicate your absence with an automated email.

A well-crafted (and remembered to be switched on) OOO message maintains your professionalism while you’re away, letting others know you haven’t disappeared entirely.

Plain and professional

If you’re aiming for polite and proper, include the following details:

A concise and informative subject line, like “I’m currently Out of Office” or “I’m on leave”.
A polite greeting, such as “Thank you for contacting me.” or “Merry Christmas!”
The dates of your absence, e.g., “I am away from [date] to [date].”
(Optional) brief reason for not being available, maybe “I’m enjoying some rest and recharging over the Christmas-New Year break” or “I’m spending Christmas overseas this year and accessing the internet will be limited”.
What the reader might do instead, e.g. contact a colleague or the main office (provide their details), send you a message another way, or wait for your return.
A polite closing, such as “Enjoy the festive season” or “Best wishes for now and I will be in contact in the new year”.

Make ’em smile

If you’d rather something less formal, maybe even cheeky, choose one of these:

Out of office, out of mind (until [date]). Merry Christmas in the meantime!
I’m currently unavailable. Please leave a message with a joke. Preferably one you didn’t get from a Christmas cracker.
Out of office from [date], but my inbox will no doubt be stuffed with festive cheer and questionable family photos until [date].
Currently unavailable. Please try again after a few mince pies and a glass of bubbles (best bet’s after [date]).
I’m currently unavailable. Please try again after I’ve finished streaming my 12 Days of Christmas binge-watching from [date to date].
Far from the office but closer to my family for the first time in months. Until the fighting starts. Could be back as soon as [date].
Beach, barbies and beers are beckoning. Back on [date].
Currently queuing for Christmas prawns. Might be back by [date].
Closed for business and conserving my energy for the Boxing Day sales. See you on [date].
Pretending I still have plenty on my plastic and spending with wild abandon because I forgot to plan ahead again. Please leave a tip with your message.
If I haven’t returned your message by [date] please send sniffer dogs to [local shopping centre]. I may not have survived extended shopping hours.
Reconnecting with loved ones and refusing to answer work emails until [date].
Out of office, sleighing the holiday season.
Wrapping up the year with plenty of cheer but had to duck out for more tinsel. Back on [date].
Wishing you a peaceful Christmas. Deck the halls, not each other.
Jingle that bell all you like but I’m outa here from [date] to [date].
Out of office, trying to untangle Christmas lights and my family. Back on [date].
Currently unavailable, arguing with my girlfriend about which Christmas movie to watch. Back on [date], or sooner if she hides the remote.
Buying my nephews and nieces drum kits for Christmas to guarantee I’ll be back in the office by [date].

Some useful tips

Keep it concise.
Don’t apologise – you are entitled to take breaks and expect them to be uninterrupted.
Test your message to check it works (functionally) and that it’s right for your personality and business brand tone (reputationally).
Remember to turn it on before you leave and off when you return.

Whether you say it short and sweet, properly professional or quirkily Christmasy, an automated out-of-office email is a kind courtesy to let others know when you’ll be working again.

Want to improve your messaging all year round? Book a complimentary, unconditional Tell Me More call.

Book a Tell Me More Call

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